Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
WALLENDA'S CHALLENGEHe worked the crowds the way he worked the ropes."Do you believe I'll get from here to thereon foot?" The bullhorn echoed through Times Squarebetween two rooftops posed like...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Nicely done in a difficult form. I do want to pick on line 6. "Who'd" is a bit of an awkward fudge--when I read it aloud it breaks the nice rhythm. The "hung in balance" is OK though a little bland,...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Now there's a test of faith Mary. Clever. abba/ abba/ cdcd/ ee. A hybrid. I like it very much.Yep, congratulations Mary.
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Very 'picturable'. Enjoyed it. My only (rather quirky) quibble is a euphonic consideration - with seven lines using the long 'O' sound in the end word, it gives a less upbeat feeling than the subject...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Michael,Thanks much for the thoughtful going-over. I may have made matters worse with the tentative revision but, having resorted to something I rarely do -- asking my non-sonnet-loving husband for an...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Excellent, Mary.I love the close.I like the revision better.Regards,David
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Hello Mary,As a true "Brit" I'd say there's nothing against "who'd". On the contrary: I for one loved it. So there. The same goes for "hung in balance" & the original's "We believe" bit....
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
I like this very much. Some nitpicks and questions remain: can buildings be posed? Can "resounded" be transitive?I prefer the revised versions of lines like 12 and 13, but other revisions bother me....
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
I like the changes. Have you thought about putting it in the first person plural--making yourself part of the crowd?
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Mary,I thought this was excellent,-you've even managed to get away with 'flair' (always a dodgy rhyme-word, I feel) because you've paired it neatly with fear. The only quibble I have is one already...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Thanks for weighing in on the either/or thing, David, Crispin, rlg, Michael, and Maz. I've tweaked the revision slightly, taken all comments into consideration, and will be sticking with it.Crispin,...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
Mary --excellent balancing act. As with some other poems of yours, the punch comes as close to the end as possible -- in this case, it's a knock-out blow. That challenge is more than just a jest at...
View ArticleRe: Wallenda's Challenge (Revised, definitely)
I like the revisions. Yes, faith in what doesn't matter is very different from faith in what matters most, isn't it?
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